Dating blunders

I feel the need to go over some ground rules for men who are trying to impress women. These are just suggestions I'd like to make after having dated a lot.

It's generally better to have more hair on your head than on your body. If you are bald and very hairy on the rest of your body, I'm going to call you 'Bear Suit' to my friends because it looks like you're wearing a bear suit without the head piece. I actually really like the bald look but there are lots of hair removal options these days for the rest of your body. Look into it, that's all I ask.

Don't expect me to split anything on the first date, or a few of the dates afterward. Don't split the driving and meet halfway, don't split the cheque and pay half and don't split your attention from me to your drink and then to the girl walking by, etc.

If you're married, or separated or still getting over someone, stay off the market until you're totally available. It's just a matter of time until you're found out anyway. I have a very smart Guy-to-English translator (Mark) for your words and behaviour. He's one of you, and he tells me when you're full of shit.

If you have a really nice car or truck, you can tell me a bit about it but then shut up. It's very difficult for women to pretend to be interested in that stuff. Of course, if you want to go on and on about shoes, celebrities or hair, I'd listen for hours.

Try to dress better than a five year old would. Running shoes aren't the best choice for a first date...unless you're going running. Stains and acid washed items are also usually a no no. Think 'business-casual', not 'going-dirtbiking-with-the-guys casual'.

If you're not interested in seeing me again, don't say you are. Just say you had a nice time and then leave. I don't need the fake interest in another date, I'd prefer if you were just real.

That's all I can think of right now, hopefully some men read this and are better for it.

Happy dating!

So this is blogging

I've finally broken down and decided to follow the pack and start blogging. For my first entry I would like to share my experience during Psychic Sunday last weekend.

It should be noted, though, that most of my future blogs will focus on men, my hatred of men, my love for men, my lack of good sex and my ongoing experiences in the world of dating while being on the dark side of twenty.

Now on to Psychic Sunday. I've had readings before and was really excited to get another one. Everyone else who went before me had good reads so I was very excited and a bit nervous because they said she was "really good in a creepy way".

So I went in and the lesbian porn video began. Well not really - but almost! This lady mentioned how nice my eyes were about 5 times. It was one compliment away from a makeout session! In between her hitting on me, she said the following:

1. There is an Angela around me - I don't know any Angela and never have

2. There is a 10 year old boy in my life right now - There is no such boy or any other child in my life

3. Someone in my family died of heart problems - Okay, my grandfather had 7 or 8 heart attacks but it's one of the top killers in our society....I wasn't impressed

4. I am an old soul and my life this time around is about karma - Excuse me while I get the Psychic-to-English dictionary for this one, I have no idea what the hell this means

5. Since I am an old soul, I intimidate people, sometimes on purpose and should stop doing that - Assuming this old soul stuff is true, she is right about the intimidation thing, I should probably stop doing that (I try to only use it for good and not evil but we all stray!)

6. I will meet two men this summer and will have to choose - Hello? Who hasn't seen my spreadsheet of suitors, again, not impressed

7. I will have to choose between these two men but it doesn't matter because they are both unsuitable - Clearly she's met the men I date, they are all unsuitable for one reason or another (although the one that was married and wouldn't kiss me would have let it go on forever if I hadn't found out and dumped his sorry non-kissing ass)

8. I will be taking a trip this fall for a couple days - Hello! I'm going to Australia for 2 weeks, don't crush my dream!

9. During this short trip in the fall I will meet 'the one' and this dreamboat will be 20 years old than me and very 'comfortable' (rich) - I'm totally up for marrying rich, in fact it was my plan all along but what's up with it being a SUPER old dude???

10. I will change jobs this year and work in the travel or hospitality industry but won't be traveling at all for work - At this point I just zoned out because I don't want to hear this kind of bullshit

11. My family will all be fine and won't have any health problems in the near future - Let's hope she isn't a hack and this is true

That's all I can remember. I was disappointed we didn't have a connection like some other people had with her. But I enjoyed the experience and want to go to a Psychic again this year (in case I don't marry the rich old guy and work a crappy job in a hotel).

Cheers!
No-sex-in-the-city